baby driver

Remember when I sent (some of) you mixes? And when I got your addresses you all said it was okay if I kept just posting photos of Morgan? Well just remember...you made this bed you're sleeping in right now.

He who is generally grumpy, or at least very serious around me, gave me nearly TWO HOURS of a happy baby last night.

At first there was The Fonz Morgan.

And then of course Serious Drool Face Morgan.

And then I had to take a picture of how cute his little tiny Tevas that Meikel gave him look at the end of his ever increasingly chubby legs.

And then Emily's Head Exploded Morgan happened

which was only amplified by Laughyface Morgan.

And then I got a peak at the old favorite, Bug Eye Morgan (which might be my favorite Morgan)

And then he giggled and played some more while generally remaining his normal Dignified Monkeyface Morgan.



And yes that is a woman's scarf -this woman's scarf to be exact- but last weekend he grabbed it from around my neck and according to his mother has refused to be without that sparkly, girlie thing ever since. Which is fine because his parents are totally liberals! They probably want him to be a gay!

telling stories

Every now and then Elizabeth and I will be hanging out and I'll say something in a dumb voice or sing a line from a song at an absurd volume and she will laugh at me or smile and shake her head because she thinks I'm silly. But it's a good silly, a silly I understand because inevitably when I'm hanging out with Katie she'll do or say the same kind of thing. And I'll smile or shake my head because it's funny, and because it's my big sister being silly.


I realized today on that Katie girl's birthday that I learned how to be a good older sister because I have a good older sister; so much of the way I interact with my younger one comes from the lead I've taken from my older one. I figure Elizabeth will want to run errands with me or go to a concert because I always want to do those things with Katie. I introduce Elizabeth as my baby sister because that's how Katie still introduces me. I keep trying to convince Elizabeth to take a road trip with me this year because Katie planned a fantastic one when I graduated high school. And I know as the age gap that can seem like a big deal closes more and more every year, that Elizabeth and I will sometimes forget who is the older and who is the younger because we'll move into a really, really wonderful friendship.

So when Katie was born today 32 years ago, I obviously wasn't alive, but I count myself real lucky I got to come around 6 years later. And I'm thankful for the twenty-something years I've had with a big sister who seems as excited to hang around with me as I am to hang around with her...which is precisely why I just gave her the birthday present of a visit from me next month. Lucky lady!

I am sure she can't wait to buy me dinners at restaurants I can't afford and let me wear all of her clothes (though for the record, Elizabeth is NOT trained yet to be cool with me borrowing/stealing).

you are the best thing

Is anyone else besides themselves with excitement for the new Ray LaMontagne record to drop tomorrow? Download this please.

It's perfect you see because Morgan, eff kid...you are the best thing.

You are the best thing because you got these parents.

You are the best thing because Logan presented you Lion King style after your church blessing.

You are the best thing because in that blessing you were blessed with a heart as big as your mama's.

You are the best thing because you already have these awesome grownups in your life.

You are the best thing because so many people love you.

You are the best thing because at your party Logan actually fit 14 mini cupcakes in his mouth.

And baby, you are the best thing ever happened to me even if you don't always love me aggressively kissing you.

the next movement

Last night I stayed late at work to finish up a take home text for my Evolution of the Human Diet class. By the time I was done, it was dark and I realized my bike blinkie light is currently dead (cus maybe when I got it I forgot to turn it off for 4 days). I called my dad to see if he could haul me to the train stop since Murray in the dark with no light seemed not so smart. En route to the station he said he could just take me all the way downtown, he just wanted to stop at a gas station to get a drink first. It was 9:00, he wasn't expecting my call, and now the round trip would take about 45 minutes.

But then I remembered my dad is a take-a-drive kind of guy. Trips to the grocery store have always been the long way there and back. The cure for middle child self-pity usually involved a ride with him on an errand somewhere and there was often a gas station treat involved (if I played my cards right and appeared really wounded). So last night, as a 26 year old, it felt so comfortable to sit in the front seat with my head out the window while my dad drove me home. I figured that as much as anything explains why I love a car full of friends and a drive up a canyon or why I'll circle the block a time or two when I'm not quite ready to get somewhere.

My mother shines through in my face more and more, and I hear her words about half the time when I open my mouth. I've never wondered about what has shaken down from her to me because I see evidence everywhere...but it's nice when I get to catch a glimpse of my dad in the mix too.

drive on

Last night I stayed late at work to finish up a take home text for my Evolution of the Human Diet class. By the time I was done, it was dark and I realized my bike blinkie light is currently dead (cus maybe when I got it I forgot to turn it off for 4 days). I called my dad to see if he could haul me to the train stop since Murray in the dark with no light seemed not so smart. En route to the station he said he could just take me all the way downtown, he just wanted to stop at a gas station to get a drink first. It was 9:00, he wasn't expecting my call, and now the round trip would take about 45 minutes.

But then I remembered my dad is a take-a-drive kind of guy. Trips to the grocery store have always been the long way there and back. The cure for middle child self-pity usually involved a ride with him on an errand somewhere and there was often a gas station treat involved (if I played my cards right and appeared really wounded). So last night, as a 26 year old, it felt so comfortable to sit in the front seat with my head out the window while my dad drove me home. I figured that as much as anything explains why I love a car full of friends and a drive up a canyon or why I'll circle the block a time or two when I'm not quite ready to get somewhere.

My mother shines through in my face more and more, and I hear her words about half the time when I open my mouth. I've never wondered about what has shaken down from her to me because I see evidence everywhere...but it's nice when I get to catch a glimpse of my dad in the mix too.

silent all these years

This time 28 years ago these two ladies were neighbors and pregnant.

They gave birth 11 days apart from each other in the winter of 1982 to these two beauties.

Consequently, there hasn't been a time in my life when Callie hasn't been a part of it. We hit a few spells of varying levels of best friendlihood in elementary school (since 5th and 6th grade seem to be when mean girls cultivate their meanness and we were often the test subjects), but we got back on track in jr. high and have have few road bumps since.

As I've gotten older and made all kinds of connections in my life, I've realized I'm one of those jerks who simply does not understand a certain kind of friendlessness because I have always had a best friend. Because I could run the 50 yards to Callie's any time I wanted. Because we were two peas in a pod at church and any church related activities. Because we could lay on her kitchen floor and listen to Tori Amos and revel in how awesome and weird we thought she was. And because I knew without ever having to think about it that we were always there for each other. So when some difficult family things happened to each of us, or when we were stalking boys at school (this is before the internet made it easy by the way), or when we were simply living the young lives that made us each who are, there she was for me and I for her.

When high school graduation came and she moved all the way to Cedar City for college we hardly skipped a beat because we were both capable of marathon e-mails and long phone conversations and Callie was a frequent weekend visitor. We did each grow more into ourselves and different from one another, but that didn't seem to matter much. We were each others' dates to high school related social events and weddings. I found that always when I ran across old friends or parents of old friends they asked me how Callie was doing and I gladly gave updates on my smart little woman at SUU. When at 21 I was leaving for Armenia, Callie was there with me to make sure I had my missionary check-list supplies and then sent me a letter every. single. week. AND organized parties to make other friends write me too. All the while she was being a really amazing person, getting perfect grades, being the president of clubs and associations, graduating college, getting a masters degree and teaching rowdy teenagers all about business. You see Callie has, and always will have, her shit together. I am far less certain about my shit but existing on opposite ends seems to work just fine for us.

The years of our actual adulthood, we see each other much less then in all the time before...but that doesn't change anything really. We always manage to pick up right where we last left off because by now our friendship is effortless; it is beyond comfortable and full of enough depth and experiences that it breaths it's own breath. And last June when Callie got married, I spent 2 days crying through the whole thing because that day was here! Because we'd giggled about boys our whole lives and here she had found hers. And he was fantastic! And she was so happy! And I was so happy! And I tried to make one of the groomsmen like me but neither of them were having any of that! But oh well...best friends marrying best friends might have been overkill.

So two weeks ago today when a great job whisked her and that husband away to Maryland to live and start a new adventure together I was excited because of all that confidence talk I've now spent an essay's worth of words describing.

But it's not entirely fine.

I feel a bit lost I guess not knowing her heart is beating somewhere in this valley or state or even this side of the country; this distance isn't a set time like mine was when I left, this feels far more permanent. And truthfully, I do feel all of those happy things because I think this opportunity is fantastic for them. I know Callie and I can dust off those marathon phone conversation skillzzz and there will be trips there and visits here of course. But I miss her still.

I guess perhaps my feelings are just telling me that pretty soon I'll also have to start a life on the East Coast...

september baby

I used to think a book and a park was the best way to spend my lunch hour, but then nephew came into my life.

And now, this is the best way to spend an hour.

Because you get to see this,

and admire those eyelashes that your brother passed onto his baby.

There is a tiny right arm that finds it's way into your armpit,

and adorable socks on legs that are finally filling out which you kind of want to squeeze until they pop (but you won't).

Then he'll readjust, sink his head into your shoulder and put a perfect hand on your neck (which makes butterflies).

And since he dropped the soothie out of his mouth in the adjustment then you get to see those lips and keep irritating him by kissing them.

And then for your patience and near perfect care, he'll wake up and thank you by smiling at his mama like she's the only woman on the planet.

So I guess maybe I just need one of my own right? Any takers?